Hungry Mungry.

I feel like I can really eat. Maybe I'm just comparing what I can eat now to what I was able to keep down post-surgery. Maybe I'm feeling weird after doing liquids for almost 4 weeks.

But... yesterday, I ate:

1/2 serving Cream of Wheat
2 light Breyers yogurts (8 oz each)
2 pieces of plantain
1/2 can refried beans w/little cheddar on top
Small microwavable "sweet potato" thing - about 2/3 cup (ick. never again.)
1/2 cup (or so) of skim ricotta with mozzarella, marinara sauce, and a dash of parmesan
2 ice pops (singles)

I think that's it. I mean, looking back on it, I guess it's not THAT much... especially compared to what I was eating before the surgery. I just feel like I have an oral fixation that can't be tamed... I want to be chewing at all times. Grrrr.

I hope I feel more full/less munchy after my first fill.

Heavy Drinker.

You know those little "on the go" packs from Crystal Light? Well, since I get free bottles of Aquafina at work, I've started drinking them like crazy.

I've got the Wild Strawberry kind from Crystal Light. It's got caffeine in it...which I'm not really sure if I'm supposed to have... but it's good nonetheless.

Wyler's also makes these to-go packets. I picked up some pink lemonade. Awesome, as well.

Then, last weekend, I found light fruit punch from 4C. Also really good.

What really amazed me was how many brands were jumping on the mini-to-go packet bandwagon. Country Time lemonade, Kool-Aid, Lipton Iced Teas... Everyone. I can't even imagine how much money this makes them, too. It's all in the packaging.

Kinda sickens me that I've fallen for their little packaging trick... but... I can't have soda. So sue me.

Pant, Pant, Pant.

So... because I got permission to take a little bike ride from the nurse practicioner, I decided to take a spin on the boardwalk this morning.

I don't know if it's because I'm totally out of shape, still not breathing regularly from surgery, or because I haven't really riden a bike in YEARS, (or a combo of all 3), but it was HARD.

I had to stop twice to do breathing exercises. I know I haven't really been expanding my lungs all the way since I got out of the hospital. I guess I naively thought that riding the bike would FORCE me to do it... but it just made me choke on my own breath.

Maybe I should try walking for a few weeks. Hold off on the bike until I feel 100%... because as it is now, I'm not 100%. More like... 83%. Or 83.4%.

First Check-Up

I had my first check-up with one of the Nurse Practicioners at NYU. My scars are healing nicely... can definitely still feel the port healing into place.

I was excited to jump on the scale. I wondered how much I'd lost on the liquid diet... Maybe 10 lbs? Turns out, I've lost a total of 13 lbs since starting! CRAZY! I'm so happy.




She said I could start riding my new bike, which I bought last week. Can't wait to get out onto the boardwalk. Might go home and take a sunset ride tonite if I can. Ever since going on liquids, I've had so much more energy. I really want to take advantage of it while I can.

Calorie CRAZY.

So, today I actually consumed a lot of calories. And it felt GREAT. I've been doing well under 1000 the past week...some days, just barely breaking 500-600.

Today I had:
2 slim-fast shakes (370)

2 Jamba Juice smoothies (750)

Cup of Roasted Cauliflower Puree Soup (no idea)

and water.

For all I know, I hit 1500 calories. Which is still waaaaay less than I'd ever eat on my normal diet before all this. But, if calories = energy, I am high on energy. For some reason, I'm totally awake right now. Yesterday, I was dead on my feet. I guess reasonable calorie consumption can actually make a body just... go.

Appetite.

Ok. So, now I'm actually hungry. HUNGRY. I decided to get creative.

I wished I could have had a baked potato or something equally hearty...but I knew my tummy wouldn't be ready for that. I mean, I only checked out of the hospital 3 days ago...

So, here's how to do Black Bean Soup during the liquid stage:

1 can of Goya Black Bean Soup
1/2 can of Fat Free Chicken Broth (I like College Inn)

Blend the hell out of the Black Bean soup in a cuisinart. Then add the broth.

Bring to a low boil on the stove, but don't cook off too much of the liquid. You'll be left with a lot of starch...which you can't eat yet really.

I found I only needed 3/4 of a cup to be really satisfied. Might have actually been less. I'd just pace yourself eating it. It's filling. But that's what I was after...haha...

Sittin' Pretty.

As I write this, I am celebrating a little victory today. I am SITTING IN A CHAIR. UPRIGHT! All week, I've been tilted back in my recliner, keeping all pressure off my abdomen. Don't get me wrong... it's still sore as hell... but I am definitely feeling better.

Jon brought me back an iPod shuffle yesterday (woohoo!). I'd been wanting one of those little buggers. My old iPod is so bulky... and for $80, I don't even feel like I'm wearing any gadgets.

Went for a little walk down to the boardwalk this morning. Out to the end of the pier and back. Did some really good breathing...listened to some good tunes. And, I gotta say, despite a serious bout of nausea last night, I haven't felt better. Even starting to get back an appetite.

By the way -- for those of you on the liquids stage -- Campbell's condensed Cheddar Cheese soup is AWESOME. I find myself actually excited to eat it. When you make it, make it with an extra 1/2 to 2/3 cans of milk... to thin it down... but it's still just as yummy. And one tiny can will actually stretch out over FOUR meals. So crazy.


Also... I'd update my weight on here, but I won't even be weighed again until next Thursday. I'm sure I'm down a bit... but I have no idea how much, numerically...

Recovering.

Was discharged from the hospital yesterday morning. Nurse put me into a deep, wonderful Percoset slumber... and then my Mom arrived from Maryland an hour later. When she gently woke me, I was so startled. Man, drugs make you sleep good.


Anyway, going back... I will cover what happened over the course of my hospital stay. You know. For the record.

I checked into the hospital on Monday at 7:30 am. We waited in the waiting room for a little while and then were brought into an interview room. There, I changed into my booties, gown, and hairnet. They took my blood pressure and my temperature... then put me in touch with a resident who was doing a liver study. I agreed to let him take a tiny sample of my liver... gotta help out the fellow NYU Alums, right?

A nurse told me about what to expect in the OR... and then she walked me down. I got on the table and the Anesthesiologist came in (I actually had met with him earlier...). I was waiting for him to have me count backwards from 10, but it never happened. I just remember lying down, him putting an IV in my hand... and then waking up in the Recovery Room.

Coming out of anesthesia wasn't as bad as I remember from when I was a kid. I used to be groggy as hell and it took me hours to come out of it. Within 30 minutes, I was semi-conscious... and asking for my boyfriend. After asking about 10 times, they brought him to me. I was so out of it...

Then, they rushed him back out because someone else in the recovery room was crashing. Cardiac arrest or something. Doctors and nurses were running around, hitting buttons on the wall that made emergency lights flash... it was like something out of a movie. However, it wasn't interesting enough to stay conscious for... so I went back to sleep.

I remember the bed moving under me... down the hall... up in an elevator... then something about room 23 (23 is my lucky number. I remember thinking how my mom will probably react to that). After I woke up, nurses continually checked on me. Yet, there was no sign of Jon (my bf).

I kept asking and asking for him... I was all alone and kinda bored. For almost 2 hours. I knew it was lunchtime, but where the hell was he??

Apparently, he had problems getting back into the building. Security wouldn't tell him where to go, I think Jon probably got a little confused, and it took him almost an hour to get up to me.

Once he was there, he was great. He took me and my IV out into the hall for occasional walks. We talked. We held hands. The whole experience would have been very different without him. To anyone considering this surgery, really make sure you have a loved one there for you the whole time.

I didn't want to take the walks in the hallway, mainly because sitting up in bed hurt. But Jon pulled me up everytime and tied my gown for me. Such a good boy. He even brought me card and little stuffed doggie. A siberian husky, who I immediately named Slim. Hehe...

When he left me at 7:30, towards the end of visiting hours, I was definitely falling in and out of consciousness. The night was pretty rough. I watched a movie on my laptop and then fell asleep.

BRING EARPLUGS if you need to sleep in silence. My roommate had her TV on for quite a while...and the sounds out in the hall were fairly distracting. I was really glad I brought my earplugs.

I was continually woken up thoughout the night for them to take my blood pressure and temperature. In the morning, they told me I should have walked more. Did they really want me up in the middle of the night taking a walk? I was sleeping! Agh!

Around 6:30, everything went back into full swing. The nurses were in, taking diagnostic tests again, and giving us final paperwork.

The took out my IV (FINALLY) and told me I didn't have to pee into a measuring container anymore (whew!). Jon came by before work to see me. Such a good boy. :-)

The pain was still pretty bad, so they gave me a couple of percoset -- crushed. I downed that with some Propel and almost immediately fell off into a blissful state of rest. Which then brings us up to the beginning...when my mom came to get me.

I've found that breathing isn't exactly easy. Filling my lungs all the way means pushing on my abdominal muscles... and that hurts like hell. So, it might be a few days before I can walk somewhat normally and breathe somewhat normally.

Either way, I'm home now. High on a vicoden cocktail and not even remotely hungry. So weird. But at least that part of the drama is over.

2 More Days...

Only 2 more days till I go under the knife.

I've oddly gotten used to the liquid diet. I did realize last night that I'm techinically doing a few things wrong.

1. I'm not taking the nutrient chewables as I should be. They taste like ass and I forget they're there.
2. I haven't been drinking fat free broth. When there's fat on my regular broth, I skim it off. Is that such a crime?
3. I can't stop drinking my light limeade from Minute Maid. There's 15 calories a glass... and I'm probably drinking 2-4 glasses a day. I realize I'm consuming calories. But it's SO FEW. My PCP poked at my liver the other day. She said it feels good -- it's not enlarged. So, I'm not worried.

So, I might be consuming just over 1000 calories a day, but really... the difference is minimal. And I haven't cheated. I'm gonna just stop guilting myself. Haha...

Also, I've decided to add a ticker to this site. I'll put it up every couple of posts so it's always on this page. I wonder how fast I'll lose the weight? Some people take a while... some people drop it rapidly. It will be an interesting process.
So far, I've lost 5+ lbs just doing the liquids. Crazy.

So Hard to Find Good Help These Days...

I generally miss cell phone calls when I'm at work. Sometimes I ignore them, sometimes I just don't hear them.

I got a message last night at 4pm from my PCP's assistant. She told me that I needed to do my medical clearance check-up 30 days in advance before having the procedure.

I started to have a panic attack. I couldn't put off this surgery... My reasons:
1) Doing the liquids stage all over again would emotionally and physically destroy me. I'm so hungry and tired all the time. It's a shitty way to live.
2) The liquids stage is affecting my performance at work. I need to get it overwith so I can get back to being normal. Or... at least, as normal as I ever was... haha...
3) My family and boyfriend are rearranging their lives to be with me/take care of me. I couldn't do this to them.
4) I've waited 8 MONTHS to get in that operating room. No one was about to stand in my way.

So, I tried to leave messages with the after-hours messaging service. They wouldn't hear me out because I wasn't bleeding to death.

I sent an email to the general address on my doctor's website. Maybe that would reach her..?

I called my mom and screamed and cried. That didn't really help too much.

I made an appointment with my PCP online (a handy feature) and planned to be there in the AM, right after my pre-surgical testing at NYU.

After a restless night of sleep, I got up very early and made it over to NYU earlier than expected. Since my PCP is only a couple blocks from NYU, I hoofed it over there to see if I could talk to the good doctor. Once upstairs, I learn that both she and her assistant wouldn't be in for an hour. I scribbled a desperate note for her and then left. I would have to get my tests done at NYU as if nothing were wrong.

I got my tests started at NYU. In the middle of my interview with the head of Anesthesia, my PCP called me. "Everything is okay! My assistant didn't explain it right. You just need these tests WITHIN 30 DAYS prior to the surgery. No problem. You're fine."

It's amazing how screwing up a few words can really change someone else's world. I've found that the support staffs for a LOT of doctors in NYC really suck. You can never get them on the phone, they mess up details, they don't send over the right paperwork... Kinda stinks how you have to babysit people to get things done right sometimes. Sigh.

At least everything is still moving forward. ::deep breath::

6 Days and Counting...

Yesterday was a rather emotional day at work. It was day 4 of being on pre-op liquids... still didn't know if CIGNA was going to approve me for Lap-Band surgery, and I'd spent the whole weekend worrying about it.

The first thing I did in the morning was called CIGNA. While on hold, I got an email from the surgical coordinator at NYU. She wanted to know my cell phone number. She obviously had news... good or bad, she didn't let on.

I was transferred to another department at CIGNA to get more information about their decision. Almost immediately, the friendly man on the other end of the line told me I'd been approved. I started shaking. I sent an email to my parents and boyfriend with only a subject line in all caps: "WAS APPROVED."

I ran over to Sarah (my partner at work) and cried my eyes out. I knew in that very moment that my life would change. There will probably be struggles... I'm sure I'll puke a few times and wonder what the hell I was so excited about... but when I finally get to my goal weight, I know I'll remember.

So... I'm keeping this blog for anyone who cares, and everyone who's curious.

Wish me luck!
Dara